Shoelaces for Josie

What is too much? How do you measure too much? I can measure too much chocolate syrup on my ice cream or too much dip for my chips – if I still have dip on my plate and the chips are gone, then there’s too much dip.

I can measure too much rain. I look in my rain gauge, and I take stock of the ground and the absorption levels and calculate the amount of rain up to this point. When it’s flooding, there’s too much rain.

I can measure too much coffee. I’ve had too much coffee before. My heart flips and twists and races far too quickly. I get jittery and restless. I pace and feel like a heart attack is coming – whatever that feels like. I’ve never had one, and I hope I never do – but I can measure too much coffee.

But how do you measure too much work? Is too much when you shove aside everything else for the sake of your work? How do you measure too much emotion? Too much money? (They say there is no such thing. I disagree.) Too much family time? Too much time spent on things with too little significance?

I have too much going on right now. It’s too much. I know that. I’m admitting that. I want to talk about all this too much-ness, but I can’t. Or I won’t. Mostly I can’t. And it doesn’t matter that I can’t. Well, it does, but it’s how the dice have been rolled, so…it doesn’t matter. Maybe just by admitting that I have too much will help. Even if it’s just a little help, that would be a good thing, I think.