Shoelaces for Josie

Lickety-Splickety Lists

July 21st, 2010

• I wore my mini skirt today. Because it’s really not very mini and because laundry day was two days ago. And because it’s hot. The weather?.
• I bought a 12-pack of Mt. Dew after running the numbers and realizing that a 12-pack would cost me 4 cents an ounce and buying a 20-oz bottle out of the cooler by the cashier’s stand would be double the cost. My mama didn’t raise no foo’ …just one who occasionally hits Mt. Dew binges like a bunny skating on ice.
• Lesson of the Day: When you have a really good idea and you get input from other people because you’re trying to be a model citizen, someone is going to try and take that really good idea away from you. Solution? Don’t get input – utilize the “apologize-instead-of-ask” method.
• Why do people take their phone to the bathroom? I don’t want to talk to someone when they’re squatting on the toilet, and I don’t want to talk to anyone when I’m doing the same.
• I don’t think shih tzus are dogs. I think they are tiny used-up mops that were thrown in the trash where they all got teed off about being thrown away so they developed little legs so they could run around yapping ALL DAY LONG.
• Don’t worry. I’m going to my anger management class tonight.
• I was sexually harassed at one of my past jobs – in a nursing home. I know, right? One doesn’t normally hear “sex” and “nursing home” in the same sentence, does one?
• My office looks like a truck hauling paper had a tire blow out which caused the gate to flop open followed by a strong wind swirling the entire contents of the truck into a paper tornado.
• Inspiration: Sometimes a person’s role is to give and not receive.